When travel writer Kathy Buckworth shared her experience of being ignored by bar staff on JourneyWoman – a global travel website exclusively for women over 50 – she gave voice to a feeling many women in this age group have experienced whilst travelling: feeling invisible. 

“After five minutes went by, I tried to catch the eye of one of them – a friendly wave – a cough – nothing,” she wrote of the staff at a hotel bar. 

“Two young women came up to the bar and sat down, chatting exuberantly. Immediately the bartender went over to give them coasters and to ask them what they would like to drink,” she continued.

Buckworth soon found that her experience was not a universal one of ageism, but one specific to women. 

“Two men in their 50s sat down on the other side of me. The bartender delivered the ladies their drinks and then went to the men to get their order. He walked right past me.”

An image from JourneyWoman’s Instagram page.

It is not up to women to have to aggressively ask to be seen 

Speaking to Travel Weekly, JourneyWoman CEO Carolyn Ray said that the ageism Buckworth experienced is not unique to the travel industry. 

“I think it’s a bigger problem around ageism in general in society,” she said. “The point of that article was that the onus shouldn’t be on us as women to aggressively ask to be served at any restaurant.”

Ray’s advice for women who might experience being ignored by an establishment – be it a hotel, restaurant or otherwise – is to know your worth. 

“When we travel we have the power to walk out of a hotel or a restaurant or whatever, and say, no, this doesn’t serve me, and leave.” 

It is something she has done many times – “I don’t feel uncomfortable doing that anymore. Because it’s my money and my time,” she explained.

Feature image: JourneyWoman CEO Carolyn Ray.  

An image from JourneyWoman’s Instagram page.

“We have the power as women to choose where we spend our money and where we spend our time, and we shouldn’t spend it with people who don’t respect us.”

An unexpected lifestyle change 

Like a lot of women who find their way into travel later in life, Ray’s own story is an interesting one. 

After taking her teenage daughter on a trip to Kenya in a bid to widen her mindset before university, Ray was surprised to find that the trip actually impacted her more than her daughter.

“I came home from that trip, I looked around my three-bedroom suburban house and I thought ‘what am I doing? Why am I spending my weekends accumulating things and shopping when I could be out in the world learning.”

As her daughter observed, the people in Kenya had nothing but were happy. 

Ray ended up selling her house and selling or giving away most of her things so that she could travel the world.

In a strange twist of fate, a friend of hers approached her and asked if she’d be interested in taking over JourneyWoman.

An image from Ray’s Instagram.

“My friend Erica said to me my mother’s [JourneyWoman founder Evelyn Hannon] is not doing well, I don’t think she’s going to come out of the hospital, would you consider taking over a JourneyWoman? And I said, No. Like, I don’t know anything about travel.”

She soon changed her mind and realised it was an unbelievably opportunity. Ray bought the website and relaunched in March 2020 – right before the global pandemic. “We transitioned into doing community calls and webinars, and I invited everybody to participate and share their stories,” she said. JourneyWoman now has around 55,000 members across the world. 

There is no fee to join Ray says, but there is one, very, important requirement. 

“It’s the mindset of being a journey woman.”

This interview is part of our Women in Travel series ahead of the 2024 Women in Travel Awards. The awards celebrate women who have achieved astronomic success in their professional arenas, celebrating their invaluable contribution to the industry through leadership, innovation and courage.

This year the theme is ‘Follow her lead’ and we’ll be championing the power of community and women in the industry working together to create the best experiences possible for Australian travellers.

Women from all levels of business are encouraged to enter the awards program, which features 20 categories covering every corner of the industry. That includes three new categories, Rail, Tech and Woman of Year.

What are you waiting for, ENTER NOW!

Buy your earlybird tickets HERE.